until tomorrow night....

I tried to throw a yo-yo away...it was impossible

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Friday Eve!!

It's been the week from hell...and it's only Monday

You just have to take one 'are you fkn kiddin me?' at a time

At least whatever's wrong with me made me really funny #blessed lol

Yea, because ur a dick

There's no way EVERYone was kung fu fighting

I hate when I'm singing a song and someone corrects me. What if I'm doin a remix?

So you're tellin me a shrimp fried this rice?

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're a really good gardener. That plant really should have tried harder.

Posed nude for an art class today, they didn't ask me to. I think they were making ceramic bowls...

Happy Easter

You are such a douchebag

I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I'm like, okay, one of us is doing it wrong and I think it's you

Watching Grease as a kid thinking I'd grow up to be Sandy, and now realizing I'm actually Rizzo

Jessie's girl was released 43 years ago. So, if she's still watching him with those eyes, she's got readers on, I just know it

Life is like a door, never trust a cow because the sun can't swim.

She has moments when she seems stable...but so does nitrogylcerine