Treason! It's the reason for the season. Happy 4th!

*slaps two fistfuls of sparklers on the counter* "how much for the angry incense?"

don't be shy, say hi

the tomato has caught you sinning

The angel on my shoulder is purely decorative

shoutout to anyone who has seen me get insanely psychotic and sticks around anyways

Happy hot Friday!

until tomorrow night....

I tried to throw a yo-yo away...it was impossible

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Friday Eve!!

It's been the week from hell...and it's only Monday

You just have to take one 'are you fkn kiddin me?' at a time

At least whatever's wrong with me made me really funny #blessed lol

Yea, because ur a dick

There's no way EVERYone was kung fu fighting

I hate when I'm singing a song and someone corrects me. What if I'm doin a remix?

So you're tellin me a shrimp fried this rice?

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're a really good gardener. That plant really should have tried harder.

Posed nude for an art class today, they didn't ask me to. I think they were making ceramic bowls...